What is divorce coaching? Do I need one?

Divorce is one of life’s most traumatic events..loaded with so much change, that it can be paralyzing. Divorces impact everything in your life, causing major upset that affects both you, and those in your circle. Until recently, couples have relied solely on the legal system to work through these issues. But, those who have experienced the abyss of separation and divorce know that there are gaps in the process, outside of legal decisions and therapy. Enter the Divorce Coach.

With the addition of a divorce coach on your side, you can navigate your emotions without waiting for a therapy appointment or relying on your friends and clearly develop an agreement and plan that reflects your individual goals and desired outcomes. Everyone’s opinions aside, you can see and think clearly about what is in front of you, and what your long term goals can be for life after divorce.

The American Bar Association describes divorce coaching as a “flexible goal-oriented design, where clients are supported, guided and motivated to make the best possible decisions for their future, based on their personal needs interests and concerns.”

A divorce coach also helps a client manage their feeling and emotions so they can wholeheartedly participate in the process as a client who is seen and understood. Clients working with a divorce coach have shown greater self-awareness and direct themselves to show up as their best self for all stages of the divorce – before, during and post divorce.

Divorce coaches see themselves as part of the divorce team. They do not give legal advice or therapeutic counselling. They are present as a guide, a thinking partner, processing, identifying and moving through each of the stages of divorce alongside the client. A coach helps a client gain clarity and take thoughtful action. A divorce coach is also a support, available when clients need it the most, those acute moments where you just need to talk to someone, take one step or make a parenting decision, you can rely on your divorce coach to be there for you so you don’t have to wait.

Through divorce coaching, a client can truly create a roadmap for their path toward, through and after divorce, working toward their desired outcomes for the future.

When working with a divorce coach, many clients find a new voice, get clear about priorities, feel connected to someone who gets it, but isn’t draining a family member or friend. Clients claim gaining personal confidence to handle the challenges and the courage to step out of their comfort zone. Clients face the transition to their new normal with greater clarity and confidence, having made thoughtful decisions throughout the process.

There are so many layers and so many players in divorce. Choosing the right path for your divorce can be a well though process with your divorce coach. You may have no idea where to even start to look for a lawyer, or how to choose the right one for you. Your divorce coach can be your thinking partner to help you connect with the lawyer that resonates with you. You may want to go the collaborative route, or work with a mediator. A divorce coach can look at all the options with you, and help you make the right decision on experts and process.

As someone who has experienced a high conflict divorce with small children, I really wished I had a divorce coach by my side to help me through those really dark moments, to support me to create the life I wanted, and to know when to put up my boundaries. it would have helped me see that I was merely surviving, not planning or thriving.

If you or someone you know is experiencing divorce, and needs the support, suggest a divorce coach. They will walk beside you all along the way, ensuring you are supported to make the best possible decisions in the moment, and in the future.

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